Living in SF

So I am often asked the question, why San Francisco? I usually mumble something about the surrounding areas, the night life and the people. The other day I told my friend who lives in the little town of Mokane Missouri, population maybe 75, that I liked that there were a lot of liberals around. Praveen mentioned to me later that it probably wasn’t the best choice of words.

As I sat out on Sallie’s deck and watched her two beautiful children freely chasing firefly and running over to say hi to their pony I thought to myself, do I have it all wrong? Here she lives in a house that was 60K (half of the second mortgage on my house), she doesn’t work and she is happy, but would I be? Could I be? I like to think I could be happy in any situation but part of my quest over the past few years is to figure out what it is that makes me REALLY happy and get it.

Some times I wonder though, am I part of a big rat race? I have nearly a million dollar mortgage and I could never stay home with my kids, but would I want to? I often times wonder if I would go crazy and need something more than kids. I do know I would love the option not to work. Am I tricked into working the rest of my life in order to pay for the things I need?

So what is that drives me to stay in this place were I will have to work until the rest of my life?
I do love the city. I love that there are always things to do, if I want. I don’t always want to do something, but when I do there are always things to do. I love the open mindedness. You can have a tattoo or a nose ring and be a professional were in most cities that is not an option. There is a certain freedom that comes with that nonjudgmental mentality. Partially it comes from the boom time where thousands of people my age were made millionaires over night and now because of that I can visit a 10 or 20 million dollar open houses while the people wonder if Praveen may be a founder of Google or some other big start up that made thousands rich. There is a certain freedom and mystery to the idea that anyone could be a millionaire. It leaves the bouncers and bars questioning whether they should deny the guy in flip-flops and they seldom do. it leaves the hostess at Fleur de Lys wondering if he should ask you to put on a jacket to come in the fancy establishment. I love that about this city. Where I came from young people weren’t as respected as they are here. Seemingly, because they didn’t have money, and I guess that is what it takes to be respected by certain parts of society, but here it is different because none knows who has money and who doesn’t. That makes a more level playing field. After all what does money have to do with human worth anyway?
I said primarily it came from the boom time, but actually I think it came long before then. One thing I was really looking for was a place that was culturally diverse. In SF I defiantly found that, and even married it. It is really great that all these people from all these places live all in one city and most people really are interested in not only accepting them but learning more about them. Today there was a gay parade and there were thousands of people straight and gay who came out to celebrate that they are free to be gay. In SF I have learned about the Russian culture, Chinese, Indian, Irish, Thai people, Japanese and many more, I always thought I would have to travel to learn all of this but really I just have to live right here. I love that!

A lot of what I love, I think, mostly comes down to the people. I was driving down 280 today and there was a sign that read, “Spare the Air. Go the speed limit.” I thought to myself oh yeah, I can do that, and I slowed down. I love that there are people here that are thinking about the big picture and remembering that we all can make a difference with one step everyday. Often times when I am home in Missouri I notice the majority of people don’t recycle and I think, wow what a different world we would live in if the rest of the country could be more like SF. Everyone has the right to live how they want and I respect that some people don’t feel the way I do, but when it comes to the kinds of people I want to be around everyday, I think I’d like for them to be more like me. I also want to be around people that are exceeding my limits so that I can drawl from them and perhaps be inspired by them. Most of my friends are as educated or more educated them myself, which drives me to do something more with my own life. Most of the people I know are traveling to other countries to experience the world and may of them are volunteering for organizations they believe in, even though they already live very busy lives. This reminds me that yes, I too can make time to make a difference. I know several people who, though it is less then convent and they have cars, they take public transit to work a few days a week. These are all things I admire and part of what makes the Bay Area a great place to live in.

There is also the whole fitness and eating thing. Most of the people I know take time to fit exercise somewhere into their every day lifestyle. I know several people who go to the gym 5 or even 6 days a week. Probably about 40% of the people I know here have run a marathon at one time or another. It is not that they are supernatural just that they have learned to believe in themselves and that they can do it. They are not all thin or super athletes. In fact, you’d look at a few of them and think to yourself, “REALLY?” I love that I can draw inspiration from all these people. It is just something I never found living in Missouri. In fact as many places as I have traveled I have never found it all in one place, anywhere.

I won’t even start on the quality of food here. It could be better. The high end restaurants are some of the best in the world, but in NY I found much more healthy food on the street for every day lunches and that is important.

That is not to say that I don’t have people I love and respect in Missouri. I love my family and I have some of the best friends of my life in Missouri. Some of my college friends are not only like minded in terms of politics and world travel but they have special other qualities. Where else will I ever have ART night? Or be able to spend so little money on a night in, but have so much fun stilling around drinking beer in my living room, of course BYOB. I like all the free stuff in STL as well, I love the botanical gardens where you can BYOB and picnic. We have as similar thing here called Stern grove and it always reminds me of STL. I guess the thing is that I feel my friends are a hard to find exception to many of the standard people that I have found in the Midwest which is one big reason why I decided to leave in the first place. I looked around and thought is this where I want to settle and the answer was for now, no.

I explain to my clients on almost an everyday bases the importance of deciding what is important form or function. Soon I will have to make these choices. I will try my hardest to raise kids here, but if I can’t then well I can’t.

I guess the biggest thing is that I would like to find a balance where I don’t always feel like I need to buy the best kitchen or a hot tub for my back yard. I don’t think these things would even occur to me if I lived somewhere else but here I feel like it is almost necessary. It’s weird. I really feel some times like I NEED a new kitchen or a new hot tub. When I take a step back I realize how absurd this is (particularly at the level I wish to build it).

For now I will do the best I can to stretch my income to pay a mortgage that is very high, I will say it is hard. Some times I feel that our generation really got screwed with the housing prices here. I have a very modest house and despite a very fortunately generous double income we can barely make it work. As for appreciation, it doesn’t look like we will see much of it. We bought a house in what looks like the peak of the pricing cap and now, well, we’re happy that we are actually one of the lucky ones in our generation who found a way to make it work.

Anyway, I will say that I am happy. I have a wonderful husband, friends and family that I love dearly a beautiful house and a job that I love. What more can I ask for?